The Warren Peace Unheard-of Midseason All-Pro Team

32 teams, 32 logos

After posting a regular All-Pro team, I decided that was a pretty boring post. Anybody can make an All-Pro team with Peyton Manning at QB. I wanted to do something different. I wanted to pick a team of relatively obscure players (some of them don’t even start for their teams!) that I think can take on any team with Peyton Manning, Adrian Peterson, and Chris Johnson on it. This is kind of like Gregg Easterbrook’s All-Unwanted team, but even he still picks Drew Brees for QB every year because he meets the definition of “unwanted” (the Chargers let him go in favor of Phillip Rivers). I wanted a little more of a challenge.  And if you’re ever watching some random game on TV and don’t know any of the players, all of these guys are fun to watch, so keep an eye out for one of them.

Starter (Reserves)

Offense

Chan Gailey, tin-can master.

Coach: Chan Gailey. BUF

Chan Gailey is master of the tin-can offense. Nobody in the league is better at designing an effective offense with whatever random talent he has around.

QB Kyle Orton, DEN, (Ryan Fitzpatrick, BUF)
WR Brandon Lloyd, DEN (Steve Johnson, BUF)
WR Hakeem Nicks. NYG (Steve Breaston, ARI)

TE Dustin Keller, NYJ (Tony Moeaki, KC)

The more I watch him play, the more Orton reminds me of Tom Brady, back when Brady was really good.  Lloyd plays the “Randy Moss” position about as well as Moss did himself. Josh McDaniels is a phenomenal offensive coordinator; he’s been a terrible head coach.  As a Redskins fan I’m terrified of Nicks becoming the next Andre Johnson.

RB Peyton Hillis, CLE (Jamaal Charles, CK, Mike Tolbert, SD)
FB Vonta Leach, HOU (Mike Sellers, WSH)

Two of my running backs are “converted” fullbacks who are kicking ass and name taking in the power running game. The third is one of the most explosive backs in the league, who is inexplicably 2nd on the depth chart behind Thomas Jones. Both fullbacks are huge hitters, and Sellers is also just huge at 280 lbs. Sellers is underutilized by the Redskins, but Leach’s blocking is a big part of the Texans offense

LT Jake Long, MIA (Trent Williams, WAS)
LG Carl Nicks, NO, (Eric Steinbach, CLE)
C Nick Mangold, NYJ (Matt Birk, BAL)
RG Jahri Evans. NO, (Jake Scott, TEN)
RT Michael Oher, BAL (D’Brickashaw Ferguson, NYJ)

I didn’t change my offensive line from my first All-Pro team because nobody knows offensive linemen anyway, so anybody I pick is mostly an unknown.

Defense

I never thought it would actually happen, but the 3-4 has now overtaken the 4-3 as the most common defensive base in the NFL. I’ve picked two defensive fronts, one for 4-3, one for 3-4.

4-3 Defense

Jim Schwartz; the anti-Millen

Coach: Jim Schwartz, DET
In only two seasons, Schwartz has just about finished cleaning up the mess that Matt Millen left for him.  Not bad.

DE Trent Cole, PHI
DT Ndamukong Suh, DET
DT Jason Jones, TEN
DE Kyle Vanden Bosch, DET

The best 4-3 defensive ends in the league are Julius Peppers and Jared Allen, so they’re off the list.  Same with Mario Williams. Trent Cole is rather unheard off outside of Philadelphia, I think, and he’s a rare DE that can rush the passer and play the run at a high level. Suh and Jones round out a still-badass line.

OLB Jon Beason, CAR
MLB Barret Ruud, TB (Rolando McClain, OAK)
OLB Michael Boley, NYG (Gino Hayes, TB)

This was the hardest position to pick; there are few good linebackers not playing in a 3-4!

3-4 Defense

Dick LeBeau. This is the most recent picture I could find.

Coach: Dick LeBeau, PIT

DE Justin Smith, SF
NT Aubrayo Franklin, SF
DE Ziggy Hood, PIT

Baltimore’s Haloti Ngata is the best 3-4 lineman in the NFL, so I’m forced to leave him off this list. Still, that’s a pretty damn good line.

OLB Clay Matthews, GB (Tamba Hali, KC)
ILB Patrick Willis, SF (London Fletcher, WAS)
ILB Lawerence Timmons, PIT (D.J. Williams, DEN)
OLB Brian Orakpo, WAS (LaMarr Woodley, PIT)

Have you heard of these guys? I don’t really know who the casual fan knows about. James Harrison was the defensive MVP a couple years ago, so he’s off. I thought about leaving off Willis, Orakpo, and Matthews.  There is quite a drop-off in talent after those first four guys, with Woodley the only slap-up guy among a bunch of solid but unspectacular.

Secondary

CB Corey Webster, NYG (Antonio Cromarte, NYJ)
CB Brandon Flowers, KC (Cortland Finnegan, TEN)
SS LaRon Landry, WAS, (Brian Dawkins, DEN)
FS Oshiomogho Otogwe, StL (Louis Delmas, DET)

Hey look, an All-Pro secondary that left off Nnamdi Asomugha, Darrelle Revis, and Troy Polamalu! Landry is playing as well as Polamalu or anyone else anyway; just think of all those years he lost because his coaches were holding him back. Dawkins is aging and fighting injuries, but he plays the same role as Polamalu and Landry for his defense, maybe just one half a step slower.  And those cornerbacks are pretty bad-ass too.

Special Teams

Al Everest. This is the face of a special teams guru! Beware!

Coach Al Everest, PIT

PR Devin Hester, CHI (Brandon Banks, WAS)
KR Leon Washington, SEA (Brandon Banks, WAS)
Kassim Osgood, Lorenzo Alexander

Banks may be Washington’s MVP so far this year. After four frustrating years of watching Antwaan Randle-El fair catch every punt every game every week, Banks has really demonstrated the difference a few yards and a few points from the special teams can make.  Osgood and Alexander are long-time special teamers who’ve been getting some starting reps in their offenses and defenses, respectively, and are playing well for both units.

So next time you’re watching a football game, keep an eye on one of these players, and you might discover a whole new nuance of playing football!

About The Warren Peace NFL Report

Warren is Redskins fan living in Bronco country. He’s co-founder of the Team Tomorrow ski and snowboard team, and a guy at the bar last Sunday told him, “you know a lot about football for a weirdo.” His favorite conversation about football happened sitting inside a giant volcano at Colorado's regional Burning Man high on LSD.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s